Perfection

It seemed like a normal day. We didn't do anything special, didn't even leave the house, but as the sun began to set I found myself reviewing each moment, etching it into my memory. It was a rare, perfect day- the kind of day that we envisioned when we bought the Heap. Someday, when I'm old and gray this is the day I will remember.

The kids did their schoolwork while I did some much needed cleaning. There was no fussing or fighting and they even worked together on their science and history assignments. I love it when they cooperate on work, there is seriously nothing sweeter. When they needed help, I was able to pause my work and help. School was done shortly after lunch and they happily headed outside to play.

In the afternoon, after some quiet time spent reading I allowed them some screen time while I grabbed a little catnap. I'm still recuperating from camp and that little power nap was so amazing.

The alarm buzzing told me my hour was up and it was time to light the grill for dinner. The kids came out to help me harvest a huge amount of fresh goodness from the garden including green beans, tomatoes, cucumbers, and corn while the grill warmed up.

While the steaks, chicken, and corn grilled the Hubs played catch with the kids. The chickens clucked and foraged at my feet, hoping I'd drop something. It was a beautiful, warm, breezy night filled with the smell of dinner cooking and the sounds of kids playing- absolute perfection.

Dinner was delicious and beautiful, filled with fresh veggies I'd picked an hour earlier. We're still a long way from that being a normal occurrence, but when I'm able to serve a meal made from only things I grew it literally makes me giddy.

The kids cleaned up the dinner dishes while the Hubs and I went outside and strolled around, discussing plans for fencing and the garden. When they joined us, the three of them went back to playing catch and I snuck away for a shower, but while I was showering I realized I really, really did not want to forget this day so I hurried back outside with a wet head, in my nightgown, to grab one more picture.

What could perhaps be called normal or mundane has absolutely filled up my heart today. Thank you, Lord, for perfect days.

Tonia

Ups and Downs

This spring has been full of ups and downs. Though I still love the Heap, there are definitely things that are difficult. I've found myself stretched to the limit in so many ways. I'm tired and overwhelmed, but still grateful and content. Life here has just really gotten "real" and we're all adjusting as the infatuation fades and commitment kicks in.

Early spring brought lots of babies- goslings, turkeys, chicks, and kittens. We all love the babies.They are so sweet and really just steal your heart. Unfortunately, the reality is that babies don't always survive on the farm. This is hard on all of us, but especially on the kids, and what is hard on the kids is hard on Momma too.

In the end, we lost 1 turkey, 5 chicks, 1 gosling, and 3 kittens. The heartbreak is eased by the enjoyment we get from the remaining brood- 5 turkeys, 33 chickens (meat birds), 2 geese, and 1 precious kitten named Milo.

The Hubs spent a lot of time building tractors for the meat birds. Tractors are mobile cages that allow the birds to graze and still remain safe. They are awesome and he did such a great job. The cool, wet spring we had really messed with our timing, though, and we just butchered the first batch of meat birds, when we really should have been doing that a month ago.  Our plan had been to do two batches, but I really, really don't want to be butchering in November so we're only going to get one batch in this year. 

Phase two of the garden has been fenced in. There is also a four foot wide area along the back side of the garden. This is where my perennial plants are going. I now have about 800 square feet of garden space, which is amazing. It is also a ton of work.

The more gardening space I have the more I'm learning about my mistakes and what I need to do differently. I definitely plant things too far apart, leaving way too much opening for weeds- which I am constantly battling. I recently stumbled across a gardening method that makes a lot of sense to me and I plan to do things using the "deep mulch" method from now on. Unfortunately, trying to catch up when things are already in place is really hard. Despite that, I have tons of things growing and thriving. I've harvested lettuce, herbs, peas, snow peas, and carrots so far with the promise of lots more. I'll take my mistakes and learn from them next year.

Five blueberry bushes have gone in this year too so we're beginning to build a permanent crop, which I'm excited about. The future orchard has been mowed and is ready for fruit trees to start going in as soon as our budget allows for buying them.

We had a broody chicken that sat on eggs earlier this spring. After nearly a month of sitting, only one had hatched, and it died before it got out of the egg.  That chicken sat in the layers coop and the other chickens bothered her a lot, sometimes even stealing her eggs and putting their own under her so we think that is why it didn't work. Now we have a new chicken sitting and we put her in the infirmary where she won't be bothered. We're all praying it goes better this time.

One thing remains the same- it's still beautiful and peaceful out here. We are confident that despite the challenges this is the right thing for our family. I really do love our life even when I'm tired and overwhelmed.

We still have a lot to do this working season. New windows will be going in soon. The Hubs has lots of fencing to put up so we can get ready for pigs next year. I still have canning and preserving season ahead. We're excited to see things continue to come together out here and I still plan to share as they do, just maybe not as often as I did at first. Thanks for being a part of this adventure!

Tonia

Bartering for Beauty {And the Giveway Winner!!}

Congratulations Lisa Thomas! You won the hand knit scarf!
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What do you do if you need something done that you really can't do yourself, but you have no cash for it? Barter, of course!  Although most of the younger generation hasn't really made use of bartering to get needs met, our grandparents and great-grandparents did it often. I was pretty excited to find a group awhile back who is trying to bring bartering back so I joined.right away. I've been able to barter some pretty cool things:

I traded some glass water bottles we weren't using for a cast iron griddle just like my daddy used to make pancakes on. I've wanted one for a long while, but couldn't justify spending money for it.

I had a freezer full of grass fed beef that was way more than I needed, so I traded some for pantry items I needed. I filled up my pantry with several months of essentials- flour, rice, peanut butter, chocolate chips, etc.

But today, I'm going to share my hands-down favorite barter so far.

When Whitney at Handcrafted posted that she wanted to barter photography for grass fed beef, I was giddy. It had been a long, long time since I'd had professional pictures of the kids done and even longer since we'd had family pictures done, but such things are just not in our budget. 

I've always loved pictures where old, rustic things look beautiful and meaningful and I hoped that the Heap would provide that kind of background.

I'm not going to lie. There was a bit of nerves about having someone we didn't know come out to the Heap- there always is. As much as I'd like to say I'm just completely comfortable where I am, there are still times when I feel embarrassed about how things are and wish like crazy for how they will be....someday. Would she see the beauty we do? Would she see our purpose and our passion?

All those worries melted away when we met Whitney. She was so sweet and friendly and she saw potential when she looked at the Heap- everything I prayed for. She spent time just walking the property and looking for the perfect places and when she started shooting she made us feel comfortable and like our lifestyle was amazing and lovely.

Her pictures are so gorgeous and I couldn't be happier. They show the Heap for what it is- home. Home, where my family is being knit together like never before and life is becoming more than I knew it could be. I am so grateful to have these amazing works of art.

Thank you Whitney!!

Tonia

A Handmade Christmas {And a Giveaway!}

Because of seriously tight finances, Christmas this year was a handmade affair. At first I was pretty bummed about the whole thing....and a little embarrassed. But, as the gifts came together, I started to really appreciate the situation. I don't know how to explain it, really, but it just felt right......like somehow, we were suddenly really getting the point of Christmas in a way we never had before.  We've always said the holidays were about family and the time spent together and I think we've always believed that, but this year was just different. I liked it. A lot.

There were aprons for my nieces and a jar cookie mix so they could bake with their Mommy.

There was homemade rub mix and BBQ sauce for my brothers and Dad- plenty there for a family cookout!

I made these fun jar cups and wraps as a test run for future craft sales. I loved them enough that several people got one for Christmas.

The darling jewelry holder was a perfect gift for Jenna's BFF.

I even made myself a little gift and I thought it was so cute I made one for my mom, too!

Knit dishcloths are a huge hit for my mom and my mother-in-law so they were gifted all around.

The thing about handmade is, there is no way to make someone a gift without really thinking about them. You can still give them something they don't like or won't use, of course, but you can't give them something that lacks thought and love when it's homemade. That's just the nature of making something for someone....you give a piece of yourself, too. And that, I think, is what it's really supposed to be about....the whole reason gift giving ever became a part of the celebrating. It was minimal, but meaningful. Like so many aspects of our new life, it's something I intend to keep- even when I don't have to.

And speaking of gifts- I have one for you!

One of the goals I have for 2015 is to get the blog reaching more people and to do that I need your help. Follow the blog for an entry in the drawing, comment here for another, and share on Facebook for another- a total of three chances! Make sure you let me know each thing you've done so I can give you credit. I will draw a winner on Wednesday January 21.

The prize? Something handmade, of course!

I knit this scarf using a rayon/metallic blend in a falling waters pattern. It has a lovely gold thread winding through it and it's soft and light- perfect for spring or fall.

Simple, purposeful, meaningful.....our goal for life at the Heap, may you find it in your life too!

Tonia

Bathroom Blues

Oooh, I can't wait to show you this! The bathroom was the last room I needed to get organized and truly moved into and this past weekend I was finally able to get it done.

It might have the grossest floor in house,  but one good thing about this room is that it has some seriously rockin storage. I mean, like a whole wall of cabinetry. Which is wonderful, of course, but also means there is a lot of room for things to just be thrown in and messy. It was out of control pretty much as soon as we moved in and it has been driving me crazy just about that long.

The top cabinets didn't change all that much. They are too high for anybody but the Hubs to reach without help so they just house things that are used occasionally.  From left to right there is: the vet box, the dog clippers, extra paper towels, and my essential oil business stuff.

 This cabinet was the most offensive. Since everyone in the house uses it, it pretty much is a major hot spot for trouble. There was a ton of stuff that just needed to go and then I was able to bring some organization to the rest.

 The top shelf contains the first aid kit, minus the essential oils, which are all housed in the medicine cabinet above the sink. There is also a basket with travel hygiene needs and another with the sunscreen and bug spray products. The second shelf is the Hubs' shelf. He resists any attempts at organization so I don't really even try anymore and instead just give him a basket to throw everything in. The basket looks nice and I don't have to think about the fact that everything is just rolling around inside it. The third shelf is the toothbrushes and toothpaste. The basket contains 4 small squares so each person has a spot for their toothbrush (inside a cup) and then there is a spot for the travel boxes and toothpastes.

Ever since I laid eyes on this middle cabinet, I have had the dream of making it into a little contained vanity area, so I asked the Hubs to make me a table top that would fit inside. He had an old headboard that fit the purpose perfectly so he cut it to size and mounted it in.

He was also able to put a better sized shelf at the top so I had more room for baskets of stuff. Now, I have my own little room within the bathroom and I couldn't be happier with it.

As with all things at the Heap, making it pretty will hopefully come later. I'm a Martha at heart and love to have everything in matching baskets and all that jazz, but for now, it's organized and functional and that is fantastic enough for me!

Tonia

Resolved

Resolved: I will acknowledge technology as the tool it is meant to be. I will not allow it to distract me, destroy my peace, or create feelings of discontent and/or disharmony.

I've come to really appreciate Paul's instruction in Titus 2, that younger women should be "busy at home". When I'm working on things that really matter I am more content and more peaceful. When I let Facebook distract me I end up with hurt feelings or I find myself judging people and feeling disgusted with them. These are not qualities I want to feed. Over the past few months I've changed how I deal with Facebook, emails, and the internet in general......

* Anyone who isn't immediate family or someone I interact with on a regular basis is "unfollowed". The brutal truth is I don't need to know where the girl I sat behind in high school history class went on vacation and I sure don't need to know she thinks all conservatives are brain dead and should be shipped to a desert island. Facebook can be useful for knowing the day to day details of close friends....and using that knowledge to help them, but when it takes me an hour to check in with everyone and I leave with a pain in my heart, things have gone too far.

* Notifications in all groups are shut off. Only groups that serve a very specific purpose are followed at all.  If I have a specific question about a specific topic the groups I am a part of can be very helpful, but they can be a huge time waster otherwise.

* Emails and Facebook are checked twice a day- morning and evening. I'm not nearly as important as I like to think I am and anybody who needs an immediate answer from me should have a more direct way of contacting me. When I'm on the computer I'm not doing something else I could be accomplishing. All of real life happens far away from the computer.

Resolved: I will live in peace about my decisions. I do not need to justify them and I do not need to convince anyone that they are good. As long as I'm walking in God's will I am free.

From homeschooling to drinking raw milk, every decision we have made for our family has been made thoughtfully, prayerfully, and after much research. I have spent way too much time carrying the baggage of other people's judgement and it steals my peace and my joy. At the end of the day, that's not their fault- it's mine. I can live in gratitude and contentment or I can live on the defensive- I choose gratitude.

Resolved: I will make the most of every day with my children and treat this job as the calling it is. I will not apologize for investing my time and energy into them- these moments are fleeting and the most important things are happening right now.

What I do day by day is making all the difference to two people in this world. It's not wasted time and it's not unimportant. It also impacts an infinite number of others in ways I may never know. I have a necklace that says, "Raising Generations" on it- and that's exactly what I'm doing. What my kids learn today they will teach tomorrow. With everything I have I will teach them to love God, love family, and live in gratitude.

I'm excited to see what 2015 brings for the Heap! Blessings to you and yours in the New Year!

Tonia

Daddy's Shelf- a furniture revival

Something about life at the Heap has made me a lot more sentimental than I used to be. Not just about family heirlooms either. I love things that come from a simpler time, when life looked more like ours does and no one thought that was weird. So when my dad asked me if I wanted a shelf that he made for his grandmother it was a no brainer. Of course I do!

The shelf is made of metal, with lovely cast metal panels and glass shelves. It was also rusty and in need of some TLC. I knew exactly what I wanted to do. It's a pretty simple redo, really- just a coat of paint and some glass cleaner had it fixed right up.

It's beautiful, if I do say so myself. I love the bright, fun color and the extra storage space is pretty fantastic too.

And speaking of sentiment- see that Bible? That was gifted to my parents when they married 39 years ago. I love having it.

All decorated for Christmas- isn't it pretty?

Tonia