The Long Road Home

It was a day 10 years, 6 months, and 2 weeks in the making. From the moment they placed little baby Bug in my arms, I knew I belonged at home. There were so many times I didn't think it would ever happen, but finally  here I am - I worked my last day yesterday. It is tempting for me to talk about regret, about all the things I wish I would've done differently, to list all the mistakes and heartache, but that would be such a waste. Because there have been lots of bright spots and lots of lessons learned on this road home. For instance, I've learned:

There is ALWAYS someone worse off than you.

I have cared for those struggling to live...and those struggling to die. I've held impossibly small babies and the hands of lonely old women, with no family left. I've cared for extra children for 16 hour days so that their exhausted single moms could go to work. I've complained loudly only to be humbled by another's harder story. I know without a doubt that these years had to happen so that I could open the door to the Heap and not run screaming the other way. Is it bad? Yeah. Is it the worst I've seen? Not even close.

I am absolutely, 100% sure, we're doing the right thing.

The thing about working for 10 years for something is this: there's no way you're getting there if you don't believe in what you're working for. I have worked from 7p.m. to 3a.m. so I could be home with my kids during the day......even if I was operating on 3 hours of sleep. I have worked weekends while the rest of the family went off to do fun stuff like go the zoo or the lake. I have juggled 2 and 3 jobs at a time, trying to get a new business going while still bringing in an income for the family. I have cried all the way to work and then all the way back home. It would have been easy to just stop the struggle and work a normal, full-time job- to accept life for what it is instead of what it should be. I have had plenty of time to think about it, to decide if I really believe in this lifestyle.

I do.

You can never give too much, but you can only give what you have.

I love to give gifts... to my family, to my friends, to complete strangers. I have been known, many times, to give away something I was still using because someone else needed it- and then turn around and get myself a new one. It has taken a lot of years for me to realize how foolish this is. I have been wasteful and irresponsible with money over and over again. As painful as it is for me to admit, I know that these past ten years were absolutely necessary in order for me to learn what money is, what it is for, and what it can really supply. I will never miraculously turn into someone who doesn't give, but now I understand what Gandhi meant when he said, "Live simply so that others can simply live." I can't have everything I want and still have enough to bless others, but I can certainly have everything I need and have plenty left over.

Organization, Time management, Biblical womanhood, Patience (okay, still working on that one...), the list could go on and on......so much growth, so many things that have made me who I am today. These past 10 years were essential and valuable and I am grateful for them.

And now, I learn what I've been waiting ten long years to learn.......

.....how to just be Mom.

Tonia

5 Reasons We're Making Our Kids Work Too

 Yesterday the Hubs worked without us because we went to visit with my sister-in-law and my two sweet nieces. They live about 8 hours away from us so visits to our area are not to be wasted. It was a lovely day off for the kids and I and a grueling day of work for the Hubs. I couldn't believe how much he was able to get done in one day! He finished ripping up the carpet, finished pulling out those ghastly baseboard heaters, and cleared out a ton of overgrowth outside. I'm not being sarcastic when I say he is my hero- for real, he is the best!

Today we were back at it and we made some great progress. The kids got some time at the pond while we did some measuring and planning, but then it was time to get to work and they were put on a job right alongside us.

In this kid-centric society of ours a lot of parents would view making our kids work as unfair and mean, but we disagree. Here's why:

1. We're homeschoolers.

Recently Kirk Cameron got the homeschool community all aflutter with his description of his family "Lifeschooling". We all loved it so much because it really resonates with us. Sure, we do Math, History, and Science, but we also do so much more. Our kids experience real life every. single. day. Some days we don't do formal school because life is literally running us over- and the kids see that reality. They aren't off somewhere believing that life as an adult is all peaches and cream because they see real life in action. Let's face it, it isn't always pretty.

The Heap provides us with a wealth of invaluable education for our kids. We've got science...electrical, plumbing, bugs, gardening. We've got history when we talk about how the house was built and how things have changed. We've got math when we measure and cut and install. You get the picture. Why would we let these precious opportunities pass them by? They'll thank us for this education some day. They will.

 

 

 

2.  Boy Bonding Time:

 

There is a strange, but true phenomena with menfolk- they talk best when working shoulder to shoulder. I know, it's weird, but there it is. I have never felt as connected with the Hubs as I do when we're working on a project together and now I'm experiencing the same thing with Boo. Tonight as we worked he chattered away.....we talked about perseverance- what it means and how a man of honor perseveres. We talked about how of all the people anywhere his daddy is my very favorite one and that's how it should be. We talked. If I try to have serious talks with this boy child of mine any other time he squirms away, but working.....he's all mine. It's a priceless thing.

 

3. Work is a Biblical Command:

 

Proverbs 31 tells of a woman who works in many different ways.  Proverbs 12:11 says, "Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread, but he who follows worthless pursuits lacks sense." And 2 Thessalonians 3:10 says, "..if anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat." It's pretty clear God expects us to work while we're here and a thing not learned as a child is very often a thing never learned- our kids are going to learn how to work now so that when they are adults they are prepared.

 



 

 

4. Ownership:

 

This is their home too. We want them to be proud of their home and we want them to care about their home. If they are working to help keep it clean or helping to renovate it they are much more likely to recognize when their actions could be destructive or cause a big mess. And when they don't, they get a valuable lesson in consequences  as they have to help clean up or repair the damage.

 

5. Reward of Job Well Done:

 

When we finished working tonight Bug said, "I feel like a huge weight is lifted now that I can see how nice the floors look." I asked her if she was proud of the work she had done and she was quick to reply, "Yes!" Both kids could see the pay off of their work and they were really pleased. So were we. They did a great job with great attitudes, which means we're doing a good job teaching them, I hope.

 

One more night of work and all the floors will be ready for re-finishing. We hope to have someone out there to do that this week since we have to move in next week. We would have preferred to wait to re-finish floors until the other renovations are done, but when you're moving into a tiny house with wood floors throughout you don't have many options for re-finishing while living there. It will need to be done before we move it if at all possible. Now that they've had all the staples and tack strips removed and been swept we can see how great they're going to look and we're really excited. The plumber was out today as well so we expect to have that all set this next week too, which means a working toilet and shower. Moving in is sounding a lot more desirable now!

 

 

Tonia